Our Celebrity Death Predictions of 2010

  • Melissa Joan Hart dies from black magic.  Libby calls her “freak” at her funeral.
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  • Ringo Starr dies after being run over by Thomas the Tank Engine.   He is denied from Beatles heaven; enters Beatles Rock Band heaven.
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  • Santa Claus dies while making sweet, passionate love to Rudolph.  Walmart quickly steps in to fill the void.
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  • Flo (of Progressive commercial fame) dies in a car accident.  She had no insurance to pay for her funeral, but the Geico gecko and Esurance cartoons were in attendance.
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  • Chris Claremont dies at the hands of Magneto.  But, don’t worry, he’ll be back….
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  • King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden dies fighting abominable snowmen.  Ikea provides coffin.
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  • Pierre Cardin dies after a fall in Lacoste, France.  SCAD takes over Provence.
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  • Lalaine (Miranda from “Lizzy Maguire”) dies from spontaneous combustion.  Hilary Duff is not present at her funeral.
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  • Pam Anderson dies from suffocation in a sack.  Kazakhstan mourns.
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  • Aaron Carter dies from God’s wrath.  No one notices, but the sun shines brighter.
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One Comment on “Our Celebrity Death Predictions of 2010”

  1. Abbie says:

    Ikea provides the coffin. Brilliant.

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