Ugly to Hot: Riverdale Edition, Part 1

36. Miss Beazley: We’re pretty sure there’s fungus growing inside of her.  That’s why we don’t eat cafeteria food.

35. Hilda & Zelda Spellman (Sabrina the Teenage Witch): Their extreme body weights, unnatural hair colors and fugly witch noses leave a lot to be desired.  Thank goodness Sabrina is half-mortal.

34. Ethel Muggs: The average human has 32 teeth.  Ethel has two.

33. Mr. Weatherbee: What it would look like if a spider died on top of Benjamin Franklin’s head.

32. Pop Tate: The 1970s called, and they want their body hair back.

31. Coach Kleats: Remember that “Buns of Steel” workout tape?  He ate it.

30. Mr. Andrews: He’s just a balding, overweight version of Archie, which isn’t saying much.

29. Archie Andrews: How does he get so much T&A with that mug?

28. Professor Flutesnoot: Prof. Flutesnoot’s nose is making some woman very happy.

27. Mrs. Jones: Ain’t no one jones-ing for that lady.

26. Miss Grundy: She’s not ugly….


25. Mr. Cooper: He’s just slightly fat and balding.



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