10 Characters That Might as Well Be GayPosted: April 6, 2010
- Timmy Turner’s Dad: Fairly Odd Parents is a pretty gay cartoon in general, but Mr. Turner is the only character to win a beauty pageant with a drag routine.
- Uncle Arthur of Bewitched: Everyone needs a gay uncle, and Samantha’s is the gayest. Tossed salad, anyone?
- Rabbit: Typically, bunnies spend their days fucking each other like crazy. Rabbit occupies his time cleaning his house, adopting baby birds and shagging Tigger on the sly.
- Velma: Her sexuality is no mystery. She never made a pass at Freddy, wears sensible shoes, and dons thick glasses to ward off men.
- Gargamel: Lives alone with his cat, wears a dress, and created Smurfette, because he realized early on that women are the downfall of men.
- She-Ra: Forget He-Man, this hero of Grayskull bathes in rainbow light and battles alongside women in bathing suits while wielding phallic objects.
- Ken: We’ve never seen him act sexually towards a Barbie. If he really was into her, he would have put a ring on it by now.
- Lassie: He was very well groomed, and could never seem to keep his paws off of Timmy. Plus, he loved it doggie style.
- Dr. Frasier Crane and Dr. Lilith Sternin: The couple had to pretend they were straight to get into Cheers, but no one was fooled. Lilith for all purposes was a man, and Frasier is the gayest thing since rainbows.
- Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber: Larry is a phallus and Bob is a testicle and they’re in love. Take that Christian values!