10 Characters That Might as Well Be Gay

  • Timmy Turner’s Dad: Fairly Odd Parents is a pretty gay cartoon in general, but Mr. Turner is the only character to win a beauty pageant with a drag routine.

  • Uncle Arthur of Bewitched: Everyone needs a gay uncle, and Samantha’s is the gayest.  Tossed salad, anyone?

  • Rabbit: Typically, bunnies spend their days fucking each other like crazy.  Rabbit occupies his time cleaning his house, adopting baby birds and shagging Tigger on the sly.

  • Velma: Her sexuality is no mystery.  She never made a pass at Freddy, wears sensible shoes, and dons thick glasses to ward off men.

  • Gargamel: Lives alone with his cat, wears a dress, and created Smurfette, because he realized early on that women are the downfall of men.

  • She-Ra: Forget He-Man, this hero of Grayskull bathes in rainbow light and battles alongside women in bathing suits while wielding phallic objects.

  • Ken: We’ve never seen him act sexually towards a Barbie.  If he really was into her, he would have put a ring on it by now.

  • Lassie: He was very well groomed, and could never seem to keep his paws off of Timmy.  Plus, he loved it doggie style.

  • Dr. Frasier Crane and Dr. Lilith Sternin: The couple had to pretend they were straight to get into Cheers, but no one was fooled.  Lilith for all purposes was a man, and Frasier is the gayest thing since rainbows.

  • Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber: Larry is a phallus and Bob is a testicle and they’re in love.  Take that Christian values!


4 Comments on “10 Characters That Might as Well Be Gay”

  1. Macarthur says:

    PS Rabbit is a bottom.

  2. leopoldscotch says:

    I was hoping to see Bob and Larry on here.

  3. Yonkers says:

    We ate forgetting #1 …. SPONGEBOD AND PATRICK, OR MR KRABS WHO SPENDS ALL HIS MONEY ON CHEAP MALE ESCORTSSSSSSS AT THE SUPER WEENIE HUT!


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