Miles Most Hated Items of Clothing

5. Khakis: Specifically designed to make even those with the flattest butts look like they pooped their pants, Khakis define business-casual.  Where suits can be too dressy/sexy for the workplace, and jeans too informal/well-fitting, Khakis offer a dust-colored middle ground guaranteed to obscure the human form, and ward off any troublesome office romances.

4. Thick Polos: As if working at Best Buy or Petsmart weren’t demeaning enough, employers use these scratchy, form-hiding shirts to further punish their staff.   When everyone looks like they are wearing what is essentially a potato sack with a collar there’s not chance of misbehavior or self esteem.

3. White Briefs: I don’t care how fit you are, the elastic waistband will make you stomach look fat, the seat will make your ass look saggy, and the crotch will make your package look like you are still awaiting puberty.  Don’t even think about going to the bathroom with these bad boys on follow up duty.

2.Chunky Dress Shoes: The stocky dress shoe’s idea of formal wear is clearly based off the 8th grade dinner dance.  Each shoe weighs 10 pounds, includes a back loop to make you feel even more like a 5-year-old, and sports a boot-like shape in case you were planning on working in the yard after you bite your girlfriend’s tongue during your first ever “french kiss.”

1. Distressed Jeans: When flashy tops just aren’t enough, there’s ripped up, chewed, peed on denim.  Unless you are hoping that your junk casually breaks out of your jeans, why would you pay more for something that is little more than a stitched together collection of fabric samples?


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