The 10 Coolest Countries in the World

10. Tunisia: In addition to providing you with an amazing name for your next baby, Tunisia makes the best pastries in the world.  This is the land that gave Rome a run for its money, made Star Wars possible, and whose first lady’s nephews stole two mega-yachts from a French Marina.

9. Mongolia: Mongolians do things their own way  They milk yaks, live in Yurts, and the men wrestle shirtless in undies and cropped jackets.  After the end of Communism, a lot of the population couldn’t remember what their last names were before Communism, so they just used Genghis Khan’s last name.  I mean, who’s cooler than Genghis Khan?

8. Cuba: Traveling to Cuba doesn’t involve getting in a time machine, but it might as well because the entire country looks like 1961.  Who needs trade with the U.S. when you have dance moves like the despelote (all-over-the-place), tembleque (shake-shudder) and the subasta de la cintura (waist auction)?

7. Maldives: Their capital, Malé packs 103,000 people into 3.5 square miles, they have an island  just for garbage, and their only export is recycling (their import is everything).  In a few decades, their entire country will have to relocate to another country.  THE MALDIVES ARE RIDICULOUS.

6. Sweden: With an attractiveness quota nearly as high as Brazil, but none of the crime, Sweden has its shit figured out.  Why shouldn’t furniture and clothing be affordable and stylish?  Why shouldn’t a royal family be extremely hot, and pop music be of a superb quality?  In Sweden, these are trick questions.

5. Vietnam: Easily the most badass country in Asia, if not the world.  The Vietnamese defeated France and the U.S. just so they could adopt Communism, then ditch it when it got boring.  Their favorite hobbies now include texting while riding motorcycles, and making noodles and vegetables a part of every meal.  Amazing.

4. Brazil: Boasting the coolest flag in the world, as well as the hottest people, Brazil is the melting pot that the U.S. wishes it could be.  Their unique combination of cultures gave us footvolley (soccer + volleyball), capoeira (martial arts + dancing) and the Tapinha (Macarena + booty slapping)

3. Ethiopia: Ethiopia defied European colonialism, explaining that they already had their own alphabet, system of time and brand of wolf, and they didn’t need white people fucking it up.  This is the country that invented coffee, and when Anthony Bourdain visited them, put salt in it just for giggles.

2.France: Unlike what many Americans believe, the French aren’t rude.  They are actually very hospitable and live in a country that is impossibly amazing.  Comic books literally fall from the sky as you lose weight eating some of the best pastries you’ve ever tasted.

1. South Korea: Give S. Korea a little wiggle room, and they will invent the most logical alphabet on the planet and discover a way to choreograph a 13-member boy band.  They animate nearly all of the U.S’ cartoon shows, their BBQ is always fresh, and all of their pop groups include at least one rapper.  Japan who?

17 Comments on “The 10 Coolest Countries in the World”

  1. Graham Johnson says:

    1.) You’re weird.

    2.) When you say the French are “hospital,” what do you mean?

    3.) Dining in Sweden is just a series of heartbreaks.

    4.) You have only been to one of these countries.

    5.) I will give you lessons on the correct use of the apostrophe if you like. It’s my job.

  2. Zachary says:

    My favorite entry yet. I’m glad I could help out.

    The Swedish paragraph was the best!

  3. prof martelo says:

    he never said the french are hospital, he said they are hospitable… it means they have a good sense of hospitality, which means, since you don’t know the practice of being hospitable !
    you should change job… for another where you don’t have to write sentences.

    • Graham Johnson says:

      Prof Martelo, I can teach you how to use capital letters if you like, and also how to use ellipses correctly. And if I ever meet you, I’d be happy to punch you in the face.

  4. dan says:

    5 most pathetic things on the internet:

    5. Girls who sell amateur porn of themselves on ebay
    4. Cyber Dating
    3. Facebook’s throngs of narcissistic members
    2. People who thing blogs’ writers are a credible source of information.
    1. People who write these “best of” lists, under the false assumption that because people in real life don’t take them seriously, people on the internet must

  5. Zoe says:

    I’ve been to a few of the countries on your list and plan on going to the others and now I’m living in S. Korea. Funny stuff! Cheers 🙂

  6. Tomo Huang says:

    Koreans arent cool what is the world thinkin?!?!… where’s China and Japan?????

    • Solo says:

      Lol I’m with you all the way.People where I live make fun of chinese and Japanese people cuz of their eyes but they are awesome.They are real cool

  7. airtioteclint says:

    Nice list mate.

  8. Jean luc says:

    Haha nice list man! I have been too many of those countries and I must say I agree with much of what you say.
    Of course this lists must not be read seriously, don’t pay attention to the comments of people who don’t understand that .

  9. God Bless America says:

    This list sucks because you have South Korea, not America, aka the greatest country on the planet, as No. 1.

  10. Shea Monglie says:

    Hate the list never understand you weirdos commenting on the board no use

  11. Debbie Downer says:

    I hate all countries ever.

  12. andrewerran says:

    This list is awful America may not be liked very much but that is pretty much where cool comes from and im not American. Ethiopia ? Mongolia ? lol

  13. BadCOCK says:

    I would say Jamaicans are the coolest most bad ass fuckers on earth. Their music, their artists, their sportsmen, their poets and the Rastaman religion are the most identifiable traits of humanity. And their crazy accent is the envy of the whole world. Everyone wants dreads. Jamaicans are the most HUMAN. The coolest tribe on planet earth hands down. I wish i was Jamaican but i am in spirit, we all are!!

  14. Maya says:

    I doubt you’ve studied the histories of all the countries in the world so you can come up with a list of the “coolest” countries. Therefore, it’s innapropriate to make such a list, especially given that some countries have more right to be one this list than France, since you only put it on because of the pastries and comic books. For example, Poland, whose borders changed more than almost any other country in the world and who has disappeared off the map of Europe for hundreds of years. They fought on all fronts (for the allies) during World War II, which cannot be said for the French. Their underground army was the largest in Europe. Poland lost the largest percentage of people and infrastructure of all countries, only to be handed to the USSR and forcibly subjected to oppression by the Soviets. They started the Solidarity Movement in 1980, which led to the collapse of the Soviet Union. After they gained their independence, they managed to be the only country in Europe to not suffer due to the economic crisis in the 2000’s, and instead grew relatively rapidly, and is continuing to do so. Now, if that’s not a cool country, I don’t know what is.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s