Here are the top five dead peeps I would invite to my faboosh dinner party:
5. Salvador Dali: Known as much for his bizarre behavior as his artwork, Dali would ensure that there would never be a dull moment or lapse in conversation. I intend to base my dinner party around his, as shown in this clip. Also, after dinner we could play ding-dong-ditch, as he was reputedly fond of.
4. Lucille Ball: One of my personal heroes, America’s favorite redhead, and a dang funny lady. We could take bets at which point during dinner a Lucy shenanigan would occur, and I’m sure she would be more than happy to perform for us, as long as we kept her supplied with cigarettes.
3. Tycho Brahe: A 16th century Danish nobleman who was famous for being an astronomer and alchemist, as well as wearing a false nose made of gold after losing his in a math duel. He was known to employ a dwarf who would dress as a clown and sit silently under the table at dinner parties. I feel that he would get along splendidly with Dali. I’d invite him on the basis of his crazy walrus-‘stache alone!
2. Oscar Levant: 21st century composer, pianist, actor and comedian. Co-star of An American in Paris and star of once of my favorite movie scenes ever (see below). He eventually had his own show which was canceled due to his inability to stop making highly controversial comments. He later floated in and out of mental hospitals, openly stating that he had erased the fine line between genius and insanity. Sounds like the perfect dinner guest to me!
1. The Marchesa Casati: Famous heiress and muse from the early 20th Century in Italy. Quoted as saying “I want to be a living work of art,” she wore live snakes as jewelry and frequently walked her two cheetahs on jeweled leashes. Her crazy menagerie would endear her to Tycho Brahe, who owned an alcoholic moose. She was also an admirer of Dali. Although I would have to hire nude servants gilded in gold to serve her in the manner she was accustomed, it would be a small price to pay to have the most scandalous woman of her time at dinner.
If I were hosting a dinner party and could invite anyone from history that is no longer living, I would send invitations to the following charming people.
1. Hergé: The man behind Tintin, Georges Remi should probably be invited to any party. He can chat world affairs, politics, comics, film, writing, fine art and boy scouting in multiple languages. Plus, I’m hoping for a personalized drawing of a drunk Captain Haddock vomiting on an appalled Bianca Castafiore.
2. Tomochichi: He lived to be nearly 100, started his own tribe after being exiled, and teamed up with the white man to found the prettiest city in the United States. I wonder how Tomochichi would feel about the way America has gone since he passed. Hmmm, I’m thinking not good.
3. Madame de Pompadour: Now I realize the risk in inviting Louis XV’s official mistress to a dinner party, as she herself hosted many fancy French soirees and could easily see mine as provincial. But, given Madame’s almost superhuman social abilities, I think the risk is well worth it. Plus, if there’s a lull in the conversation, she plays a mean clavichord.
4. Leopold Senghor: Super duper French, super duper Senegalese, I’m confident that this African leader and party poet would hit it off well everyone. If things got too heated between Pompadour and Tomochichi, I trust that Senghor could calm things down, just like he did in post-colonial West Africa.
5. Dorothy Parker: Finally, it would not be a dinner party without my secret weapon. The acid tongued, alcoholic, suicidal poet; every good event needs one. While mixing prohibition-strength cocktails, she could regale everyone with stories about how she twice married the same gay man. You might as well get crunk.