10 Best Fake Bands

1.  “The Beets” from Doug: The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?  Who needs to pick when you have the Beets?  Taking the best sounds and looks from both groups, the Beets are essentially a British invasion band, only, you know, thirty years late.

2.  “Venus in Furs” from Velvet Goldmine: What do you get when you take members from Radiohead, Sonic Youth, and the Stooges, dress them in spangled baroque clothing, and give them Jonathan Rhys Meyers as their front man?  Why, Venus in Furs, obviously.

3.  “Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem” from The Muppet Show: Let’s be real- we love anything Muppet, and as such, this band probably would have made the list even if it was horrible.  That being said, this band is far from it.  Although Animal was the only member of this band to reach success as a solo artist, we feel that each musician stands on their own as a testament to the prodigal powers of Muppet magnificence.

4.  “The Wonders” from That Thing You Do: Straight up bubble gum pop, which we love.  Surprisingly enough, this song was written by the bassist for the band “Fountains of Wayne” (you know, the genius group behind “Stacy’s Mom”) and went on to become an actual hit, peaking at #41 on the Billboard charts.

5.  “Josie and the Pussycats” from Josie and the Pussycats: Sometimes you just have to put on your cat ears and jam with your closest interracial friends.  Formed with the end goal to bed and wed Riverdale’s beloved Alan M., this band has become so much more than the first furry band in comic history.  The Supremes who?

6.  “Soggy Bottom Boys” from O Brother, Where Art Thou?: We love the old-school bluegrass style of this group, as well as the straightforward vocals in this song.  The only thing that could have made this group any better was if George Clooney himself sang the vocals.  Apparently we are not alone in this thinking, as the musicians behind this group won both a CMA Award and a Grammy.

7.  “Open 24 Hours” from Square Pegs: A hipster band so far ahead of their time, this group makes us totally tired from loving it.  Totally.

8.  “Stillwater” from Almost Famous: Music so era-appropriate and well crafted, it makes us want to stop bathing, grow out our hair, and follow this non-existant band across the country.  If a girl overdoses on quaaludes along the way, so be it.  It was all for the music, man.

9.  “Jem and the Holograms” from Jem: Although their music was written only to sell action figures, we are compelled by the songs’ themes of an orphaned executive’s daughter hell-bent on challenging the record industry with makeup and magic.  Plus, I’m not sure if you were aware, but Jem is truly outrageous.  Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

10.  “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch: That hair.  That wardrobe.  That music.  Where the penis used to be, and the vagina never was, comes a sound so gender-bending, so anatomy-warping, that we’re no longer sure what we’ve got going on down there.  And not in a bad way; in fact, it’s rather refreshing.


One Comment on “10 Best Fake Bands”

  1. Zachary says:

    6. I’m sure somewhere right now Dr. Leiben is swooning.

    7. I love how totally 1981 Square Pegs was. Great choice!

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