The 5 Worst Things About Being a Woman

Societal Pressure on Being a Twig

Day to day I generally feel neutral to pretty good about my body. I’m not the kind of person who spends a lot of time thinking about my jean size or rationing what I eat. That is, until I open a women’s magazine. Even though I know that most models are Photoshopped to within an inch of their lives, I can’t help compare myself to someone who earns a living by being a clothing rack. Suddenly I feel like a giant jiggling about on my huge legs that get bigger towards the top- not like all these models whose thighs are the same circumference all the way up! Surely there must be something wrong with me! Oh no, none of my ribs poke out of my back- I should probably start fasting! Don’t even get me started on how you can’t even eat cereal our of my collarbones!

Double Standards

Think of all the worst words you know: how many of them are derogatory words for a woman or for female genitalia?  Have you noticed how easy it is to insult a woman based on her gender alone, with many of the words having no male correlation? Think of how many words we have for “slut” alone: whore, floozy, skank, tramp, loose, painted lady…well, maybe that last one is a little archaic. But what is the male equivalent to slut? Stud? Player? Womanizer? All of these words call to mind a glamorous image, whether it be Frank Sinatra or Jay-Z. What glamorous image does “slut” bring to mind? Ke$ha? Even the man to woman equivalent of the word “prostitute” is imbalanced. Women are hookers, conjuring up images of cheap vinyl outfits, while men get to be gigolos, conjuring up images of Richard Gere.

Cost of Lady Products

I consider myself to be a pretty low-key woman when it comes to getting ready. I work in a very casual environment, so I barely wear makeup or do my hair. Even so, on an average day it takes 14 products to get me out of the door. I don’t even want to tally how many products I use when I go out! I don’t know if you pay attention to the cost of beauty products, but shit’s expensive! I recently bought new mascara from a drugstore- on sale that tiny tube was $9. And the cosmetic industry has us all convinced that in six weeks, it is unsanitary for you to be using the same tube of mascara. And while for men a shampoo + conditioner + body wash combo is apparently all you need, women: don’t you DARE mix up your face lotion with your body lotion, regular conditioner with leave-in conditioner, your hair product with shine for your hair product with hold, your base coat for your top coat….

“Problem Areas”

I realize that both sexes can, and do, struggle with their weight. For men, a little excess weight is often seen as a positive attribute (more cuddly/warm). However, it is a completely different story for women. I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t have a problem with at least one area of her body. I hold weight around my stomach, but no fat is ever deposited to my butt. A friend refuses to show the upper half of her thighs. Another friend refuses to wear anything sleeveless. An acquaintance wears pants throughout the Summer. And the messed up thing is that these are all such small issues that in all likelihood no one would ever notice, but we are so preoccupied with whatever perceived flaw that we would rather not go out than wear something we think draws attention to our “problem area.” I personally would rather walk around in an XXL Insane Clown Posse shirt, face painted in full juggalo jugalette mode, than let my stomach see the light of day.


To be fair, anyone can be a creeper- boy or girl, gay or straight. But let’s be real; I know of way more horror stories that take place between guys and girls. To start out with, I don’t think a ton of guys even know how to let a girl know he’s interested in her. I’m not sure what reaction you’re going for when you whistle and dangle money out of your car window, but thanks for making me feel like a slut when I’m just carrying home dog food. On top of that, we now have books and tv shows telling men that the best way to pick up a woman is to just walk up to her and insult her. Ask her if she is wearing a wig! Tell her her hands are manly! It’s really not that hard, and I’m addressing ALL of you creepers….stop staring, don’t whistle, no pickup lines; walk up to them and introduce yourself.


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