Gayest Gay Icons

George Takei

At age 68, George Takei proved that it’s never too late to come out.  While he doesn’t have that firm stomach anymore, George still speaks in that wobbly, cavernous voice that drives the boys wild.  Like all gay celebs, Takei has used his coming out to re-energize his career.  Since his reveal, he has  starred in several unlicensed Star Trek web series, lent his voice to numerous downloadable add-ons for the Playstation Network, and  proposed rape to one lucky homophobic basketball star.

Gladys Bentley

Gladys Bentley was winning the hearts of women and singing in tuxedos over fifty years before Janelle Monae coiffed her first fro-hawk.  When she wasn’t behind the piano making sex eyes at lezzies, she was performing dirty remixes of popular songs in front of a chorus line of drag queens. Bentley proved that you don’t need enormous breasts to win over admirers (although she had those), all you need is a fancy walking cane and a love for the vaj.

Saint Sebastian

Although he’s the Western world’s first gay icon, Saint Sebastian proves that gay dudes really haven’t changed much in the last thousand years.  We’re still into that pull-your-pants-down-so-far-we-can-see-your-pubic-hair look, and we still like our men to be as defenseless as possible.  In many ways, Sebastian is a trendsetter.  Shaved armpits on men  are already becoming popular, and its only a matter of time before arrowplay becomes mainstream.

Wilson Cruz

Wilson Cruz is pretty gay. At 19 he came out to his parents, then took their rejection of him as an opportunity to run away to show business and play a gay 19-year old who was rejected by his parents.  He followed up this role  by portraying a servant, then a male prostitute, and then transitioned to Broadway to play an AIDS positive drag queen.  When not acting in films with titles like Joyride and All Over Me, Cruz busies himself by presiding over gay parades and taking his shirt off at speaking events.

Jo Calderone

While I’m not a fan of Lady Gaga’s recent music and I fear that we’ve veered into dangerous “she can do no wrong territory,” I will concede that Ms. Germanotta is pretty gay.  And not just one kind of gay, but every kind of gay.  As Lady Gaga, she is a big-voiced, pantsless drag queen who churns out middling dance tunes for white boys to grind to. As Jo Calderone she is a chain smoking, Cheeto-eating lesbian wet dream.  Finally, don’t forget her mermaid alter ego Yuyi, clearly a nod to her trans fans.


One Comment on “Gayest Gay Icons”

  1. Zachary says:

    I watched the George Takei video and I don’t even know what just happened!

    Also, where did you dig up Gladys Bentley?


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