Zachary’s 5 Favorite Kpop songs of 2012

Shinee – Sherlock

You guys, when I watched Sherlock for the first time, my heart stopped beating. Then when I watched it for the ninth time, my aorta exploded. In the video, Shinee take the group dance routine to a level of perfection untouched since Paula Abdul retired as a choreographer. Weaving, sliding, jumping, and twisting to a beat stolen from 1991 era Michael Jackson, the members of Shinee move in a way that distracted me completely from Taemin’s horrendous blonde wig and Key’s tragic American flag shorts. The next time you have 42.8 free minutes, take a look. Because you’re going to want to watch this video at least 12 times.

Gain – Bloom

Gain’s comeback music video starts out slow, but by 2:15 she introduces her gay entourage and starts dancing in her underpants. By 2:25, someone’s touching her butt. With Bloom, Gain turns up the heat and throws in the kitchen sink. A bedrooms scene? Sure! Sheep? Yes! Giant CG flowers? Hell Yes! Pole dancing in front of a giant sprinkler? Why not?! We and her skinny-suited dancers accompany her on this wild ride, as she asks us, “Did you like it? Did you fake it?”

100% – Bad Boy

100% is a boyband determined to prove to you that they’re tough, and they’re not afraid to use heavy guitar riffs and studded leather jackets to do it. Did I mention that their debut single is called Bad Boy and that it’s performed in the desert? Oh, and that’s no normal sand. IT’S ON FIRE. And what’s on top of that fence Rockhyun is posing in front of? Barbed wire. And wait, are they gonna start dancing or fighting, because THEY’RE JUST SO TOUGH I CAN’T TELL.

Ailee – I Will Show You

Amy Lee was born in Denver and grew up in New Jersey, just like you! But unlike you, in 2010, she realized her American music career was going nowhere and her criminal justice degree was worthless, so she jumped ship and headed to Korea. There she metamorphasized into superstar Ailee. More human than Boa and less numerous than Girls Generation, Ailee proved that all you need for a hit is some big ass pipes.

Infinite – The Chaser

Let’s face it, Kpop videos can be pretty formulaic. Dancing in suits and six inch heels in front of shiny, expensively-constructed set pieces – any seven member boy band could do that. With The Chaser, Infinite gave us a slow motion car crash and motor bike vandalism. And then what was that whole thing where they stepped through that tunnel of foggy, mirrored triangles to get to that glowing glass chamber with that weird box inside that no one ever opened?? Girl, I don’t know, but I was super into it.

 



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