5 Beloved Cartoons that are Actually Terrible

Scooby-Doo

scooby-dont2

How many billions of dollars have been made off of a show that is little more than looped chase sequences and a dog with a speech impediment?  In a cartoon where the jokes aren’t funny the first time, they have a laugh track to remind you that, yes, they are still doing a gag about Scooby being scared of a butt 427 episodes later.

Inspector Gadget

inspector-gadget

Why would Chief hire Inspector Gadget? Just because his mouth is a toaster  doesn’t mean he’s qualified to solve international mysteries.  Also, should Penny, who has somehow gotten her hands on a Kindle and an Apple Watch 25 years early, be left in the protection of a cyborg who is constantly malfunctioning?  One of these days those helicopter blades are gonna kill that poor girl!

George of the Jungle

Georgejungle

George of the Jungle is just Tarzan if everyone that made Tarzan was drunk.  The show is rushed, jokeless, and in desperate need of medical attention.  I mean, what do George’s genitals even look like after 100 tree collisions?  Those red blotches on his loincloth? That’s blood.

Super Friends

Superfriends

I thought it was impossible not to be afraid of Batman, until I saw the Super Friends.  Here, Brucey joins his spandex clad pals in maybe protecting the planet, but really just agreeing with eachother all the time with their pants off.  The only good thing to come out of this cartoon was the four token multicultural heroes who despite being stereotypes have way cooler powers than, say, Wonder Woman, whose ability is to have a star spangled camel toe.

Rocky and Bullwinkle

Rocky and Bullwinkle image

This is maybe the worst animated anything I’ve ever seen. Whenever Rocky talks I think (s)he’s having a stroke, but then every character talks like that!  The frame rate is 2 per minute, and I hate to bring up the elephant in the room, but Bullwinkle’s body is a straight up testicle!

Advertisements

50 New State Slogans

Alabama

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

“Deliverance” Come to Life

Alaska

Alaska

Don’t Say Russia Never Gave us Anything

Arizona

Arizona

Old and Dried Out, Just Like Grandma

Arkansas

Arkansas

Pirate Kansas

California

California

Are You Famous Enough?

Colorado

Colorado

It’s not Always Hip to be Square

Connecticut

Connecticut

Imma ConnectiCUT You, Bitch!

Delaware

Delaware

The First Forgotten State

Florida

Florida

A Nice Place to Die

Georgia

georgia alternate

Come for the Romance, Stay for the Racism

Hawaii

hawaii

The Pineapple Upside Down State

Idaho

Idaho

No, You da ho!

Illinois

illinois

Corn and Corruption

Indiana

Indiana

Where Canals are Still in Style!

Iowa

iowa

Out and Proud Since 2009

Kansas

Kansas1

Where Dorothy was Escaping From

Kentucky

KEntucky

Where You Can Always Get Beat by Your Pa

Louisiana

louisiana-prison

The Prison Capital of the World

Maine

Maine

Cold Enough to Fish, Too Cold to Dream

Maryland

Maryland map

The Colonists Were Drunk When They Drew Our Borders

Massachusetts

Massachusetts

Bet You Can’t Spell it Right

Michigan

Michigan

Apocalypse Now!

Minnesota

Minnesota

You Betcha!

Mississippi

mississippi

The Only State with pee pee in the Name

Missouri

Missouri

Misery Mispelled

Montana

Hannah-Montana-3-hannah-montana-7061288-1280-1024

Purple Mountain Travesty

Nebraska

Nebraska

Where the Corn Runs Red with Blood

Nevada

nevada

Can I Get my Money Back?

New Hampshire

new hampshire

Live Free and Die

New Jersey

New Jersey

Fuck Old Jersey

New Mexico

new mexico

You Like Turquoise, Right?

New York

new york

Gang Fights Will Inspire You!

North Carolina

North Carolina

Graveyard of the Atlantic

North Dakota

North Dakota

What the Frack?

Ohio

Ohio

Set Your Bland TV Show Here!

Oklahoma

Oklahoma

The Birthplace of Hanson

Oregon

Oregon

White People Left to Their Own Devices

Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania

Ugh, History

Rhode Island

Rhode Island

America’s Tiny Little Baby

South Carolina

south carolina

It Don’t Get More Southern Than This

South Dakota

South Dakota

If You Like it Then You Should Have Put Four Presidents’ Faces on It

Tennessee

Tennessee

Country Died Here

Texas

Texas

Bigger is Worse

Utah

Utah

Wives for Everyone!

Vermont

vermontjpg

Billboards Will be Shot on Sight

Virgina

virginia

Once Mighty

Washington

Washington

…State

West Virgina

West Virginia

West of Sanity

Wisconsin

wisconsin
Praise Cheezus!

Wyoming

wyoming

Montana?