5 Beloved Cartoons that are Actually TerriblePosted: March 15, 2013
How many billions of dollars have been made off of a show that is little more than looped chase sequences and a dog with a speech impediment? In a cartoon where the jokes aren’t funny the first time, they have a laugh track to remind you that, yes, they are still doing a gag about Scooby being scared of a butt 427 episodes later.
Why would Chief hire Inspector Gadget? Just because his mouth is a toaster doesn’t mean he’s qualified to solve international mysteries. Also, should Penny, who has somehow gotten her hands on a Kindle and an Apple Watch 25 years early, be left in the protection of a cyborg who is constantly malfunctioning? One of these days those helicopter blades are gonna kill that poor girl!
George of the Jungle
George of the Jungle is just Tarzan if everyone that made Tarzan was drunk. The show is rushed, jokeless, and in desperate need of medical attention. I mean, what do George’s genitals even look like after 100 tree collisions? Those red blotches on his loincloth? That’s blood.
I thought it was impossible not to be afraid of Batman, until I saw the Super Friends. Here, Brucey joins his spandex clad pals in maybe protecting the planet, but really just agreeing with eachother all the time with their pants off. The only good thing to come out of this cartoon was the four
token multicultural heroes who despite being stereotypes have way cooler powers than, say, Wonder Woman, whose ability is to have a star spangled camel toe.
Rocky and Bullwinkle
This is maybe the worst animated anything I’ve ever seen. Whenever Rocky talks I think (s)he’s having a stroke, but then every character talks like that! The frame rate is 2 per minute, and I hate to bring up the elephant in the room, but Bullwinkle’s body is a straight up testicle!